The Shambolic Conservative Cabinet

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If you’ve tuned into the news recently then you may or may not have seen that the U.K. government is a mess, to say the least. Leading figures within the Conservative party including Boris Johnson and David Davis, have resigned. This has left the current Prime Minister, Theresa May, with a very tough handful of decisions to make. As the weeks wear on, her cabinet is clearly highlighted as one of genuine incompetence, and most of that could be blamed on her.

But it’s a lot deeper than that. Jeremy Hunt for instance, after gutting the NHS of all its worth, has now been bumped up to Foreign Secretary, presumably so he can alienate other countries from trading with us. Boris Johnson and David Davis have both resigned, which in essence leaves a massive, tosser shaped hole for Theresa to plug before the next manifesto gets leaked, one of the policies is rumoured to be a fored lethal injection for anyone making less than a hundred grand a year. Anyways, the two MPs that have been utilised to replace Johnson and Davis are unknown to the world of politics. Matt Hancock (remove the Han from his surname and you get a just view of what he is) and Dominic Raab, a man who, when in charge of Housing, stated that the minimum wage law should be dropped, and everyone should work at least 48 hours a week. Two big piles of shit thrown in to an even bigger room of shit that is, in essence, the Tory cabinet.

Now is as good a time as ever for Theresa May to resign. But who could possibly replace her? Anyone, to be quite honest. Get a bucket and paint a face on it, it’ll be more in line with the voters. She is completely contemptible, she has no morals, as shown by the way she votes and handles key issues.  It’s clear she can’t control her cabinet, nor can she control her government whatsoever. This has now moved from a national issue, to a party issue. For the past seven years, Conservative rule in politics has always been unsteady and often redundant, the key reason for this is party in-fighting.

May’s stance in regard to U.S. President Donald Trump has been frequently criticised by all wings of politics.

It’s difficult to fix party infighting, especially when the entire party is split down the middle on key issues such as Brexit, Trump and general manifesto promises. Boris Johnson, David Davis and several other cabinet ministers resigned over the issue of Brexit. May faces extreme opposition from all other parties (bar UKIP) for her loose stance in regard to Trump. As for the manifesto, well, it’ll fuck the NHS, fuck the country, and, most of all, it’ll fuck you. Unless you’re a part of the 1% or don’t need healthcare, you have no reason to vote for this shambolic government.

Labour at this point are nowhere near perfect. Some of their key figures within the party including Diane Abbott, Sadiq Khan and Blairite figures cause party ruptures. But the key difference is that, Labour are able to fix these problems rather easily, primarily due to the fact that they aren’t currently in power. The spotlight is somewhat taken off of them to highlight the more prominent, and frequent failings of the Conservative Party.

Brexit is obviously the hot topic issue at the moment. The “will of the people” boiling down to three groups. The first being the older generation, the majority of which will not live to see Brexit negotiations end. With regard to the second group, the ill-informed, the largest group of all, on both the Remain and Leave sides of the coin. The third group is much more niche, those who are so bold faced at the slightest mention of change. If you choose a movie and think it’s shit halfway through you don’t watch it until the end do you? Of course you don’t, you switch that shit off. Brexit is that shit movie. Just because we’re halfway through doesn’t mean you have to finish it, especially when it’s shit.

But no politician currently has a resoundingly sound stance on Brexit. Nigel Farage, a career politician who hates career politicians, boldly states that Brexit is for the will of the people and for the good of the country. But, is that statistically accurate? Even if Brexit goes through, there’s a strong rumour that it will be a soft Brexit. We’ll remain within the single market, but not be a member? It’s diluted to the point of redundancy, where we’ve “left”, but are still reaping all the benefits. That’s not leaving, that’s staying that is.

Still, this has been made all the more worse by the Conservative Cabinet. They are, as Stuart Pearson in The Thick of It (2003 – 2012) once said “…a solid bed of cunts.” That fictional character certainly isn’t wrong. Bankers who are tone deaf to the needs of the working and middle class. Tax breaks for their mates while the rest of us suffer with a broken NHS, something that will not survive Conservative leadership. Not even Margaret Thatcher touched the NHS, even she knew how hated she would become if she started fucking about with free healthcare. But no, May and her cabinet of troglodyte, jet set tossers, are keen to destroy the NHS from within. If they can afford it and we can’t, then that’s their ideal fucking society. They do not have your best interests at heart, nor will they ever have your best interests heart.

May herself is the worst of the bunch. She’s a woman clinging on to power, throwing literal billions of pounds at far right Northern Irish parties, in a feeble attempt to cling to her pathetically small majority. Not only is her majority miniscule, but she no longer has the support of her party. It’s time for her to go. But who could possibly replace our dear fucking leader? Michael Gove genuinely looks like Slappy from the Goosebumps (2015) movie. Boris Johnson is as predictable as extreme diarrhea and Ruth Davidson is Theresa May’s evil number two, so there’s no way she’d be accepted. I know what you’re thinking. What about him? The 18th century, Gregorian little fucker, Jacob Rees-Mogg, the man with a double barrelled name so upper class it’d put David Lloyd-George to shame.

No, he can’t be leader, can he? He’d start allowing for chimney sweeping to be a form of internship and then ban abortions. There is nobody available for a solid Conservative leadership. On top of that, no party would ever want a coalition with them again, especially not after the messy Liberal Democrat government. Theresa May has managed to make the Conservative party an unelectable, untrustworthy party. Let’s be fair, that wasn’t hard to do.

Make no mistake about it, Theresa May and her entire cabinet are liars. Contemptuous pricks and arseholes who should not be trusted whatever the cost. Their ability to smirk their way through week after week of Prime Ministers Questions, dodging important questions on the state of Brexit, the NHS and the economy, is disgusting. Some people have coined the term “Mayism”, which implies that she has taken the Conservative party to the left wing. If that’s the case then I’m much further left than I had first fucking presumed myself to be.


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