The Break-Up (2006) – A comedy without the laughs

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The Break-Up
(The Break-Up - 2006 - CC. Universal Pictures)
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“Couple quick ground rules: Please, don’t jump off the bus. Weird. Not fun for anybody. Also, no throwing objects at pedestrians. Unless, of course, they deserve it, okay?” – Gary, The Break-Up (2006).

When did you last watch a film that genuinely annoyed you to the point of turning it off completely? That is how I felt when watching The Break-Up. However, I have to sit all the way through every film I review. I don’t have the luxury of switching films off half way through. Now, I’ve watched some really bad films. Hell, I sat and watched The Emoji Movie (2017) and I never wanted to switch that off. But there was something about this film that I just completely loathed.

Gary (Vince Vaughn) is a bus tour driver and Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) is an art dealer. When their small squabble over the dishes turns into the end of their relationship, the two are at each other’s throats. Neither of the two are willing to leave their shared condo, and must wait until it sells before they can go anywhere else. They both try getting under each other’s skin with more and more terrible ideas. Eventually one of them will cave, but who? The supporting cast includes Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, John Michael Higgins and Justin Long.

The entire plot is based on an argument that would never happen (The Break-Up – 2006 – CC. Universal Pictures)

You know when you watch a film and it convinces you someone can’t act? Yeah, that’s the type of film this is. Now, I know both Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston can act. I have seen them both act before and I will surely see them act once again. But there’s something about this film that just takes their charisma and acting talent away. It’s not that they don’t work well together either. There are definite traces of their chemistry littered throughout this film. Of course because they’re at odds with each other throughout it’s impossible to tell what’s going on. But for the most part, there is nothing interesting or unique about their acting and it really bothers me.

As far the supporting cast go, it doesn’t work either. Jon Favreau and Jason Bateman sort of play friends to Vince Vaughn or something? I’m not sure, Bateman is in the film that little that I just didn’t notice. How convenient it is that he is in fact also a real estate agent. That just doesn’t get brought up until it’s necessary to do so. As for Favreau, he’s there simply to push the plot along. He’s basically a plot device whenever the film has ran out of steam. It’s quite pitiful to be honest it’s just a shame really.

It surprises me that Jon Favreau is in this film. Shouldn’t he be doing something Marvel related, any excuse to get him out of this film anyways. Still, I am glad he was there because then I at least had one character to care about. My main problem throughout was that neither of the characters in this film were interesting. Why should I care for either of these two pricks when they’re equally as obnoxious as one another? There is no reason to care and that’s why I got lost off so soon into the opening of the film.

What genuinely surprised me is the amount of cliches this film managed to hit in the opening ten minutes alone. They’re obviously discontent with their life. They argue over little problems that just don’t warrant an argument in the first place. On top of that they each have their very own annoying family members that contradict with their own family. It’s cliche garbage and really I was expecting nothing less.

Vaughn and Aniston have no chemistry at all, that’s the point though, right? (The Break-Up – 2006 – CC. Universal Pictures)

My only positive comment surrounding the entire film is that the soundtrack was okay. It wasn’t great but it wasn’t terrible. It’s that weird middle ground you get when you have at least a few decent songs to keep you going. They use two Queen songs throughout this entire film and honestly that’s the best and only part you need. As far as the rest of the soundtrack goes, it’s just songs I don’t know or don’t care about. Either way, I wasn’t wanting to stick around in this film just for music.

Would you believe that this film was in fact meant to be a comedy? Yes, it was actually a comedy, apparently. Apart from the quote I used for this article and quite literally one another joke, none of the other jokes were landing. Acapella was used as a joke and was stretched far too long and far too frequently. I’m not sure why it was funny, because it really wasn’t. I’ve never sat more stone faced through an entire film before in my entire life. Again, Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston are funny people, but something about this film just takes that away from them.

Verdict

No, I don’t want to give it the satisfaction of a half star rating. I think that’s some sort of special achievement only the worst of the worst should get. This film was quite honestly offensively bad on many levels. I was under the impression that no matter how bad this film was it was still going to depress me. Something about the general plot of this film is just so dull and upsetting. Sure, of course that was going to be the intended impact. Does that mean it manages this correctly? Absolutely not, no, it does a terrible job and the film should be avoided whenever possible.

As far as I’m aware, this is possibly one of the worst romantic films ever created. See, I said that the day before I watched the film that is now tomorrow’s review. Honestly, I expect nothing and I’m somehow still let down by these films. The chemistry between Vaughn and Aniston is lacking at best. The supporting cast are there merely so we can have at least someone to remotely relate to. Honestly I would say it’s the worst films of their careers, but I think that’s a tad harsh. It’s forgettably dull and a tad annoying at times. Nothing less than that, but certainly nothing more either. I’d rather eat super glue than watch this film again.


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REVIEW OVERVIEW
The Break-Up
Ewan Gleadow
I've been writing for various different places for roughly four or five years now. Currently focusing my writing on film reviews, politics and occasional game reviews. Hopefully you enjoy my work, be sure to contact me if you have any criticisms or praise.

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