Ghostbusters (2016) Review – Not my Ghostbusters

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Ghostbusters
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“She thinks it’s a sliding door. She thinks they’re all doors. That’s sad – she’s a scientist.” – Jennifer Lynch, Ghostbusters (2016).

What a genuine mess of a film. Believe me, I have watched a lot of terrible films but this somehow takes the prize of worst film ever. Okay let me rephrase that. Considering the other terrible films I’ve watched, the only difference is the budget. Clearly it is not on the levels of awful that haunted me when watching Foodfight! (2012). However, I also gave Daddy’s Home (2015) my lowest possible rating, and I feel that it’s going to be the same for Ghostbusters. Why wouldn’t it be? It’s everything wrong with Hollywood.

Dr. Erin Gilbert (Kristen Wiig) and Dr. Abigail Yates (Melissa McCarthy) wrote a book about ghost hunting. When they eventually get a call, they head to a presumed haunted house along with Dr. Jillian Holtzmann (Kate McKinnon). The three find proof of a ghost, and from there begin to combat ghosts. Also Patricia Tolan (Leslie Jones) joins the group because she knows how to use the subway system or something. A supporting cast that includes Charles Dance, Chris Hemsworth and Neil Casey doesn’t help proceedings.

Honestly I can’t remember a single part of this plot, I really can’t. It felt more like a cut and stick effort to make as many things happen on screen at once. For me it felt like there was no pacing whatsoever. One scene Gilbert is told to sod off, but the very next scene she’s tagging along with the others. I’m not sure how we reached that part of the story, but somehow we did. There’s not enough substance in this film to constitute an actual story. No real character development doesn’t help this film at all. People sort of just come and go, never to be seen again throughout the entire film. It’s a huge disconnect from the audience.

I forgot to mention the CGI of this film, and to be honest it makes the 1984 version look so much better (Ghostbusters – 2016 – CC. Sony Pictures)

Now is the time to mention that I don’t really care all that much for many of the actors in this film. Aside from the cameo performances and maybe Charles Dance, everyone else is pretty dreadful. I’ve never been a Melissa McCarthy fan, her humour just isn’t something I find funny. That’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed any of her film performances. I did enjoy her in St. Vincent (2014) but that was in a supporting role. As for the rest of the cast I really had no opinion on them before this. I do now have an opinion on them though, which is that they are bad actors.

The acting is quite possibly some of the worst I’ve seen in a big budget film in a long while. Honestly the acting in this film is sort of like Will Ferrel on LSD. But in a bad way, if that makes any sense. I presume this could have been made a lot easier though considering that the writing is some of the most mediocre stuff in the business. The acting is stale, boring, dull and certainly not engaging. The gold star for worst actor is definitely going to Holtzmann, because quite honestly that role was utter drivel. Not just the role, but the actor, performance and even writing for that role was some of the worst I’ve seen in a long while.

According to Wikipedia, this film is a comedy. I would like to debate that statement, because nothing in this film is actually funny. There’s no rhyme or reason to any of the jokes. None of them are actually funny. I sat for two hours very stone faced throughout the entire ordeal. See for a film to be funny, you need to rely on a variety of things, and Ghostbusters relies on one part at a time. Actually I lied, I did actually laugh at one single part of this film. It’s the Ozzy Ozbourne cameo, he shows up and calls everyone a wanker, end of scene. That was his entire role in the film and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t just directing it at the characters. Still, nice to see Ozzy Ozbourne is the only funny part of this film.

There aren’t many “jokes” in this film, are there? Pretty much everything falls flat in this one(Ghostbusters – 2016 – CC. Sony Pictures)

I’m pretty sure that this film is built on sexism towards men. But it’s okay though because they’re men and that means it’s funny. Hemsworth plays an idiot because apparently that’s what they have to do. He’s the comic relief character because he’s dumb and everyone loves him because he’s so damn loveable. It was a shit performance and ironically is one of the biggest flaws of this film. The writers make Gilbert go head over heels for him and there’s literally nothing that comes out of this. I just thought it was a bit funny and ironic that not even a film with female leads can escape romantic tones.

Now I should point out that they ruined the Ghostbusters theme in this film. Not once either. It sounds like a small complaint to make but when you ruin the Ghostbusters theme can you really credit yourself on being a film? They played a brief interlude type deal for the opening of the film and that was it. My guess is that they couldn’t get the rights to the song or something like that. I say that because they made some sort of techno/dubstep monstrosity and slapped that in its place instead. Still, a minor complaint either way, isn’t it? The soundtrack in general was very generic. Nothing there that excited me in any way, shape or form.

Verdict

Everything in this film just feels artificial and more or less an advocation for “Melissa McCarthy is hilarious”. But she’s really not. The writing is some of the worst I’ve seen in a long while. This film is so lacking in depth that nothing good can actually come out of this film. Who was actually expecting much from this film as a whole? In a film where the funniest joke is a cameo, what was there honestly to expect from a horrible remake.

So, no, this isn’t the worst movie of all time. It’s just a two hour filler cashing in on a bigger brand. This film is literally just Ghostbusters (1984) but with shit actors. Remakes in Hollywood are of course bigger and badder than ever. Some of them do in fact work, but quite recently there’s been an example that they may not be that good. Ghostbusters may as well have stayed in development. You could have burned the money for this film and made more of a profit. I don’t know, I’m having trouble making a point at the end of this one, I don’t know. What a pile of shit.


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REVIEW OVERVIEW
Ghostbusters
Ewan Gleadow
I've been writing for various different places for roughly four or five years now. Currently focusing my writing on film reviews, politics and occasional game reviews. Hopefully you enjoy my work, be sure to contact me if you have any criticisms or praise.

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