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Albedo Eyes from Outer Space Review

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There comes a time in everyone’s life where they should experience a bad video game. For me, I enjoyed the experience so much that I can’t seem to detach myself from this experience. Now it comes as no surprise that Albedo Eyes from Outer Space is a bad game. If it were good why would I mention that bit about bad games at the opening. Still, I digress. Everyone should experience a bad video game.

Unfortunately, Albedo Eyes from Outer Space is one of those games that isn’t so bad it’s fun to mock, it’s simply just bad. Aggravatingly bad. The sort of headache inducing game, you know the ones, stuff like CSI: Fatal Conspiracy. It’s one of those puzzle games that tries to mix everything into one and fails spectacularly. But come on, I’m blowing it out of proportion, right? Well, you’d be surprised.

I will give the game a few positive remarks though, because it isn’t completely defunct of every possible credit. Graphically speaking, although the motion blur is disgustingly disorienting, it doesn’t look to bad. I mean, by no means is it great, but at the same time if you can get over the motion blur then you may enjoy yourself.

Of course, aside from actual gameplay or things people give a damn about, the gamerscore is easy. I myself haven’t completed the game because every time I go to play it I end the session with a migraine. It’s much like why I wont play Borderlands 2 anymore. The first time I played it I was ill and disoriented, now I’m scared it’ll happen again if I go back to it.

The problem there though is that I do in fact have to go back to playing Albedo Eyes from Outer Space. Not just for this review, but for those last few achievements I missed the first time round. Yes, given that it’s an easy thousand gamerscore then you’ve probably guessed it’s a puzzle game. If you hadn’t guessed that, better luck next time.

See, for me, first person puzzle games very rarely work. Portal and Portal 2 clearly worked, but I’m putting that down to some exceptional humour. So where did this game go so genuinely wrong? I’m going to put it down to the writing being ridiculously poor. You would not be able to convince someone that this plot can portray a sense of accomplishment.

For some reason you can get all of the achievements in this game without actually reaching the end. So, for someone like me, why would I play those final twenty or so minutes? For completionists sake? Well, I’d class having all the achievements as completing a game. Sure, it’s a small thing to pick up on, but for a lot of people out there I’m guessing they turned the game off as soon as the final achievement unlocked. Myself included in that.

Still, the graphics are nice. The achievements are easy. But that’s it, that’s all there is to this game. Nothing more than that. So what exactly is wrong with the game? Other than the aforementioned story and horrendous motion blur. Well, at its heart, this game tries to pay homage to the old puzzle games.

Of course, the problem with that is that, well, old puzzle games are pretty damn bad. Well, they are for me anyways. Stuff like Monkey Island has never sat well with me simply because it doesn’t resonate on the same level as newer games. On top of that, I don’t feel the same nostalgia of older puzzle games, especially when they’re presented in the new era of gaming. See, having to scroll until I can find the right option so I can pull a fridge on top of an eye isn’t my idea of fun.

But apparently it is quite fun, especially considering the game is priced at £11.19. Luckily I got it on sale, at maybe £3? I can’t remember, I bought the game a long while ago, played the opening segment and never touched it until now. See, I must have done this because even then I realised I was in for a genuinely poor experience.

What may surprise you is that there is in fact some combat in this game. By combat I mean you literally mash the A button when you see an enemy. So long as you’ve highlighted “A is Combat” and not pick up then you should be okay. You can in fact pick up enemies, when they’re dead I mean. And not the whole enemy of course, you can pick up their eye. Which, to be fair, is not something you need to know nor do.

Verdict

Albedo Eyes from Outer Space is a very interesting one for me. By that, I mean I hated the majority of my time with it. The bits I did enjoy were only because I was unlocking achievements. It was sort of like an adrenaline shot if anything. Thirty gamerscore every now and then was the only thing keeping me going. Now having to play through the game without the help of these achievements, it became even more of a drag than it was before.

The problem is that as far as premises go, it just wasn’t very interesting. There are a lot of games currently available on the Xbox Live Store, and it comes as no surprise that I’m not recommending this game. See, the plot as far as I’m aware is “oh no, there’s some aliens and stuff”. That’s it basically, nothing more than that. Not because the game isn’t trying to provide more, but simply because there isn’t anything more to really add to that.

It’s a basic concept at best, and from there you can’t really expand or create enthralling dilemmas. All Albedo Eyes from Outer Space manages to offer is a barebones puzzle game without the effective puzzle game feel. It’s graphics are nice, but the motion blur turns this game into a difficult sight to see. Still, it’s better than CSI: Fatal Conspiracy.

REVIEW OVERVIEW
Albedo Eyes from Outer Space
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Sarcastic. Pessimist. I write what I think, hopefully you enjoy that.