“No deal is better than a bad deal” – Why Brexit is...

“No deal is better than a bad deal” – Why Brexit is doomed

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Remember that time Theresa May said “no deal is better than a bad deal”. Well, with the Brexit talks beginning on Monday, those words have came back to bite her. If you don’t believe me then here’s a video of her saying exactly those words.

But what she said right there could have been taken out of context. Either that or she’s a bit thick. Lets evaluate both sides though, for the sake of balance of course.

What did Theresa May mean

The most important part of this quote is context. Plain and simple she was saying that, for the sake of the country, leaving the European Union without anything is better than leaving with deals that will not work in the long term. Very noble I suppose, but then you remember that it’s really just the same old message.

We wouldn’t need to have no deal if we had simply stayed put, with the way things already were. The run up to Brexit was a convoluted mess of an ordeal that alienated and divided the country more than Margaret Thatcher managed. Quite the achievement, I assure you. Anyways, back to the topic at hand.

Assuredly, this is the message she would have wanted to give. But given recent public reaction to both Brexit and this message, everything is up in the air. It doesn’t help that Theresa May’s public image has become one of constant mockery. It’ll have an effect on the Brexit negotiations, speaking of which.

Brexit Negotiations on Monday

This is where the fun begins. It’s been reported that in two days time we’ll begin negotiations on Brexit. Many British politicians will have you believe it will take two years, however it’s more and more obvious it will take at least five or so. I could be wrong, but that’s what I’ve been hearing from various websites. Hell, I even quoted that in one of my previous articles.

Anyways, if you didn’t know, we just recently had a general election where Theresa May made a prat of herself. She lost her majority, public opinion is strongly and swiftly against her. Even the Queen is starting to show her up, in heartwarming scenes where she visited the survivors of the disastrous Grenfell Tower fire. Right now, Theresa May has been booed out of a church and also refuses to meet survivors for “safety reasons”. Listen, if a ninety one year old Monarch can meet members of the public then I’m sure a sixty one year old world leader can.

But what has this got to do with Brexit negotiations? Well, if she can’t debate on television (like she didn’t) or even meet members of the public, how is she to debate with twenty six other world leaders? It’ll be weak and wobbly.

Theresa the Appeaser

For whatever reason, Theresa May thought it appropriate to present her election campaign with the same appeal of wet bread. Because of that, she doesn’t look strong enough to go into Brexit. Now I should point out at this stage in the article that she herself will not be negotiating Brexit. That’s up to Boris Johnson, Liam Fox and David Davis.

But to be fair, is that even any better? Well my answer is good grief no it’s terrible oh God we’re going to die. Let me explain that.

We are sending Boris Johnson to negotiate an already vilified exit from the European Union. We need someone that will be firm, but also open to new ideas at those talks. Someone such as Sir Kier Starmer perhaps. Not some loony who was the Mayor of London and stabbed the former Prime Minister, David Cameron, in the back. Liam Fox was eliminated from the first round of leadership debates last year. David Davis has been an outspoken Eurosceptic, but in 2014 it was revealed that if Britain left it would be a complete disaster.

Check Wikipedia you lazy sods, I’m here to fling shit up the wall, not teach you a lesson.

Macron’s opposition

French President, Emmanuel Macron, has stated he is open to Britain remaining in the European Union.

French President, Emmanuel Macron has stated recently that Britain can opt back into the EU before talks end. He did state however that the closer the talks were to finishing, the harder it would be to remain. Still, at least the offer is open for when this country stops thinking with its arse.

For me, personally, there is no benefit to leaving the European Union. An argument is “they need us more than we need them.” and I hope those that say that eat their words in three years time. Well you’ll probably have to if I’m honest, we’ll be in such a financial crisis that you won’t be eating anything else for a very long time.

All Brexit really is, for many, is a way of breaking the Status Quo. But the problem with that is the old saying of “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” is thrown out of the window. The Brexit vote was more a protest than anything, showing that regular people could in fact stick it to the man, so to speak. What they didn’t realise however is that by sticking it to the man they’ve done a colossal cock up on their future, and the future of many generations after them.

Full circle

And so, here we are. No deal is not better than a bad deal you colossal twat. You Wankersaurus Rex. Utter cockwomble. Listen to me. You’re breaking the deals we have in order currently with a Union built on bringing people together, and for what? What are you actually wanting from Brexit? You’re wanting immigration to stop are you? Well tough that’s not how it works. You’re wanting soverignty back and a return to the olden days? Well don’t worry, Theresa May is going to take us back to the recession we felt in the 1950s. Before you know it we’re going to have a defecit of £800 million, just like we did under the Conservative government throughout the thirteen years wasted.

But well done, Theresa. You’ve managed to make yourself look a tit once more. But to be fair you didn’t have to try and do that. Even when you didn’t show up people thought you were a bit of an unreliable leader.