Right wing snowflakes

Oh I write this with such glee and utter pleasure. Now the main focus of this article is going to be a sort of follow up to my work on Mob Mentality. Now, judging by the title and the fact that I’m now going to call you all xenophobic, racist, patriotic morons, that should piss off 95% of you. I hope so, because that is my aim. The remaining 5% will understand what I’m trying to do, mainly because they’re not morons.

The whole point of this article on a whole is to represent a group that, for the most part, seems to think they’re the tough as nails heroes the world needs. Bashing and destroying those snowflake liberal cucks and bringing forward the capitalist world we dearly need. Well, I’ve got some evidence to support my argument, thanks Facebook. The evidence I’ll be presenting just truly show the moronic levels of people on the right wing.

Now I should preface this, I don’t think all right wingers are moronic. I know a handful of right wingers that I would consider especially intellectual and able to have a sophisticated debate with. You know who you are, thank you. But this article is mainly aimed at the norm, the groups in society that believe their opinion is fact and muddle the two frequently. Case in point, confusing Facebook with actual real world politics.

The scenario

Brexit is about a hot a topic as an Australian forest fire. It’s led to much debate and basically split the country in half. At the end of it all, the Leave campaign won. Now, as a lefty snowflake, I am more than happy and capable to respect that decision. Well, I would be if the decision was based on fact and fact alone, not white lies, and bigger, blacker lies. Case in point, Leave.EU campaign captain Nigel Farage. A man with the same credibility as a puppet from Sesame Street.

What Farage said may confuse some, but don’t worry, I’ll help you along the way. Taken from an interview he gave with The Mirror in May last year, Farage said this;

“In a 52-48 referendum this would be unfinished business by a long way. If the remain campaign win two-thirds to one-third that ends it”

Now. Remain lost. Ironically, the overall percentage of win to loss, was 52% for Leave, and 48% for Remain. How very, very, coincidental. But, of course, because it’s not the other way round, we can’t apply Farage’s argument to it. This is backwards logic. Farage is very right in what he’s saying, so long as he means it. He’s right, a two third to one third majority would most definitely be fair in either case.

What I don’t understand is that, considering the Leave campaign won under the same conditions Farage set out for Remain, why he hasn’t mentioned this again. Quite simply, it’s because Farage got what he wanted. So now that he has what he wants, he will never mention this interview again. But, I’ve brought this to light. And of course, if you voted Leave, you’ll say this doesn’t matter. Well…

The Experiment

I just happened to stumble on this when my dad liked the post. Thanks for making this article happen dad, wouldn’t have without your support, of Brexit.

So I just stumbled upon this by sheer chance. What I noticed right off of the bat was that the only page to have shared it (as far as I can tell.) was the I Support UKIP page, which is basically the same as the I Support the KKK and Nazi’s weren’t that bad pages. All jokes aside, it’s what stemmed this article, because it perfectly represents how right wingers cannot handle fact, logic, and any argument that doesn’t agree with their opinion. Lets journey on through, shall we?

Not yet. Don’t get ahead of yourselves. We’ve still got to explain how this experiment works. If you’re a left winger or in the 5% of the right, read on to the next chapter. If you’re in the 95% of those offended, I’ll spell it out in simple words for you.

Stop getting offended when people don’t agree with your opinion. Your opinion of what is right is not fact, nor will it probably ever. Just because someone does not agree with your opinion, does not make them wrong, they’re probably more informed than you. Case in point, this experiment I carried out, which shows the undying moronic state of the I Support UKIP page.

So what we’re going to do, is I’m going to analyse comments. At this point in the article, I’m debating on whether or not to blur peoples names out. I doubt I will, because that sounds like a lot of effort I don’t have. Also, I’m going to guess none of us lefties would ever provoke, considering we’re all tree hugging pacifist commies.

Ewan analyses your “opinions”

Apologies if you can’t read that too well. I don’t know if it’s the image quality or our eyes have all unanimously decided to leave.

And now, the best part of the article. I read into peoples opinions, and explain why they are wrong, in the meanest nicest way possible. The top comment even got so lucky as to warrant a reply. Carole Ann Smith stated;

For goodness sake. whats wrong with you. NO. WE VOTED LEAVE. ARE WE GOING TO KEEP VOTING UNTIL THOSE RICH IDIOTS GET WHAT THEY WANT. THE PEOPLE DECIDED.

Aside from a number of spelling mistakes (whats should be what’s, apostrophes make a difference.) and being poorly worded all around, what is Carole trying to tell us? Well, I didn’t go through too much detail in my response, but I most certainly will here.

For starters, I made sure to point out that this was just a Facebook opinion poll. They carry as much political weight as Katie Hopkins’ opinion, by which, I mean nothing at all. Now, Carole seemed very angry that she would have to “keep voting until those rich idiots get what they want.” I’m not speaking for all Remainers, but I’m not rich. Hell, a notable number of people I know, who voted Remain, are not rich. You cannot generalise 48% of the country as rich, and 52% as hard working British patriots.

What I found humorous is that “the people decided”. This is where it gets difficult to understand, so bear with me. What you need to know is that your vote in Brexit meant literally nothing. There is not one single politician, both cabinet and shadow, that care. The vote itself was not a definite “we are now leaving”, it was an opinion poll. Quite ironically, like the one on Facebook, to advise and record information for the government, so they could decide what to do. You did not decide to trigger Brexit and Article 50, the politicians did, and even they’ve forgotten that bit.

Moving swiftly on to the second comment. Gillian Icough writes;

Absolutely not, i want our country back, the eu is corrupt taking our money and we are stone broke now, they have flooded our country with people who are taking us over and will start a war within the next few years…..wait and see you thick lot

What an unfathomable amount of stupidity that is on display. I have to keep a Flesch reading score above 80% to greenlight my articles, and that statement alone made it flash red. Poorly wording things aside, I think I vaguely get your argument, and want to deconstruct it so I make your opinion invalid. Firstly, lets tackle the EU being corrupt.

For those who don’t know, we joined the EU just for the single market. At first, it wasn’t even called the European Union, it was the EEC. We joined so we could have access to the single market, which to this day has been a great benefit to our country. We joined the EEC (eventually the EU.) under a Tory government, with Thatcher at the helm. Eventually, the transaction from EEC to EU was made, under John Major, a Tory government. So for a little side note on those voting for the Conservatives this election, just remember who made you join this “corrupt” organisation in the first place.

But, the EU isn’t even corrupt. I know this is Facebook and I’m really not expecting a worded essay on how. But please, give some evidence of any kind. I don’t feel the need to give evidence because they haven’t, why should I have to? I can just use my opinion to argue, rather than gain knowledge and fact to base my argument.

It gets better. “we are stone broke now” is fairly accurate. I now have to explain what the trade deficit is. Basically, we import (buy) more than we export (sell). It’s like buying a bakery, but remembering you only have enough money for a loaf of bread. Our trade deficit is, in political terms, buggered. Mullered. Absolutely, without a doubt, not very good (according to The Guardian.) Now, the reason we need the EU is because they’re actually helping us balance that deficit, mainly by giving us access to the single market. Without that access, the deficit worsens, leading to more financial problems. We have no back up plan or trade agreements with countries that can make up for the losses.

“They have flooded our country”. Who? Who has flooded our country? I presume you mean those “ruddy foreigners” who bring all thirty members of their family here to leech off of our dying NHS, correct? Well, that not only isn’t the EU’s fault, it’s also not what happens. Most of the time, immigrants are actually coming here to work. Not only that, but it is our government that allows them to do this, mainly because it is a basic human right. You know when you go on your two week holidays to Benidorm and lounge around drinking? You think that’s what immigrants do in this country, don’t you? Next time you’re on holiday, apply for a job, but don’t use their hospitals, shops or anything whatsoever. Just so you know how much of a moron you truly are.

Lets clump the last three together because I’ve got three more pages to go through and they’re all just as stupid as each other. For the first comment from Emily Wilson, I leave you a video of Ian Hislop, personally one of the greatest accidental pioneers of politics, explaining why we can still complain. To an extent, Graham Godbold’s comment also falls under this scrutiny. Enjoy.

Thank you Hislop for saving my already near to broken wrist. As for Jennie Bodman, I refer her comment to the top of this article, where I scrutinised our favourite lovable proud British man, Nigel Farage.

Page 2, the ongoing war

Still here? Good, we’re over the hump now, it’ll be easy sailing from here. Oh what am I saying, look at the image. Look at the big, British middle finger. Still, we’ll move on to that in a moment, lets go top to bottom once more, shall we? Now, I feel I was very patient with the first page of comments. However, after reading the top comment, I do want to take a small bit of anger out. Please, don’t think this takes anything away from the article, I just need to express a tad bit of opinion. Joan Hughes nicely states;

Bloody remainers need to get use to the fact they lost and the leavers won. if they want to remain in the eu they can all sell & pack up and take the train to one of the eu countries the sooner the better. These stupid twats need to learn that gb will survive leaving the eu.

Oh boy, a lot to digest there I’m sure. Hopefully as you wolf that brain boxes knowledge down, you’ll notice a disturbing lack of punctuation, notably, commas. Which, as a A Level English student, bothers me, to some extent. Not as much as Joan Hughes is bothered by us bloody remainers though. Thank you for suggesting that now 52% of people have had their say the remaining 48% should sell their homes, pack their bags and fuck off to “one of the EU countries”. Maybe you’d like to give examples of other countries, but I presume the only country you know is red, white and blue. Furthermore, you don’t help your case by calling people “stupid twats”, you stupid twat. “GB will survive leaving the EU”, and I’m sure that’s why David Cameron resigned the moment he caught wind of the news.

Right I’ve had my fun, back to remoaning. I’ll just sum up the rest of the comments quickly again, I’ve got a bad back and wrist, I’m tired and I just want to watch Kill Bill at this point. Margaret Fell, 17 million may have voted leave, but that doesn’t neuter the other 16 million that voted remain. If we went to war with each other, remain would win. Why? Because we’d have funding from the EU, and also their support, because the EU technically protect one another in conflicts.

Next up, Adam McGowan, who has used a picture based argument. Smart move, as we all know, the majority of I Support UKIP users, cannot read. I really hope you aren’t related to Alistair McGowan, I wouldn’t want a comedians name to be tarnished for the sake of this shit hole of a country we call Britain. Thank you for implying that remoaners should suck a dick for having an opinion, maybe you can shove some Lego up your arse and cut off your penis with a salami slicer, we’ll call it even.

Helen Morell has, well, alright that’s fair enough. You may not have given your opinion fully, but at least you’re sticking to your guns. I’m glad we have such iron clad thinkers.

“I will vote for leave no matter what.”
“If you vote for leave, the economy will crash.”
“No matter what.”
“If you vote for leave, Xenephobia will become a genuine crisis.”
“No matter what.”
“Bread will cost a bit extra.”
“Erm…”

Chapter 3, all good things come to an end

We are, unfortunately, nearing the end of the road on our quest to prove my arguments. Let us not be sad though, mainly because I’m going to quickfire these comments in bullet points as fast as possible because my wrist is starting to lock up again.

Neil Powell – No there wouldn’t be a second referendum if Remain had won by a significant margin. I refer you again to Nigel Farage and the comments he made that make your argument redundant.

Dot Gregg – Thank you for stating the obvious, the Facebook poll you voted for is not a second referendum. Just a reminder.

Barry Baxter – You can’t call out an entire Facebook page by calling them shit stirrers. As hilarious as it is you think you can do that, you’ve embarrassed yourself and now look like a tit.

Theresa Ju Cowling – Maybe we could’ve just gone for an EDL flag, right? Small problems, small minds.

Mark Cosgrove – This just highlights my point about how the right wing can get offended by anything. If you’re offended by a Facebook poll then you shouldn’t be on Facebook you snowflake, right wing cuck.

Susan Williams – What about if I inherently disagree with the idea and live inside my house forever without leaving? Would the vote still affect me in any way at that point? Please get back to me on that one.

Robert Nelson – Your vote is still as pitifully useless as everyone else’s vote previously. Thank you for believing you’re more important than others though you egotistical nut.

The overview

And there you have it. Concrete proof that the right wingers that mock us for being “socialist” and “caring”, can also be the most stupidly hilarious and ill informed cretins this society can deliver. I seriously worry at the fact that these are the people in the political “right”, as in, their opinions are presented as fact, and pushed onto a country such as Britain. Despite all the flaws and evidence there is to suggest Brexit is like swallowing a jar of Marmite, we’re going to go through with it anyway.

You may hear people call the left wingers “Remoaners”, well, good. It’s better than being called “Xenophobic”, “Moronic” and “Ill-informed”. Have a pint on Nigel. Wait, where is he? Oh yes, he’s a racist version of Chris Moyles now isn’t he.

Tell your friends

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