I live a life with strong moral beliefs. Always got to remember my manners, kindness and to be respectful to other people, including to respect their decisions whatever they might be. I also love trends and makeup. Hop on the bandwagon and enjoy the ride. Eyeliner particularly because it actually makes me look like I have eyes instead of a fucking dead person. Don’t scowl at me when I have no makeup on because trust me, I know okay? Guaranteed I feel worse than you do. Just kidding kids you gotta love yourself remember that now.
So over the decades we’ve had many wonderful techniques and trends with eyeliner dating all the way back to the wonderful Egyptians. The glamorous 60’s Audrey Hepburn’s cat eye eyeliner, to the lovely 90’s grunge look where you carefully line your eyes and smudge. Or cry yourself to sleep while you wear it, the effect is about the same. 100% approved by me.
Pretty floral eyeliner and rainbow eyeliner is all very beautiful and wonderful. But guys, what the fuck is penis eyeliner.
Like, why…and why? I mean sure I respect you for wearing it, and I’m all for breaking those social norm barriers. Not only that, but the people draw them on pretty well, good sense of creativity there. But, what’s the desired effect here? You literally have a dick hanging off your eye. People take it so seriously and I can’t see what you’re trying to prove to me here, I just don’t see it.
Not ever for a night out would I think, ‘You know what? I’m gonna push the boat out with my appearance and draw a penis on my eyes, that’ll get the party going.’ The glorious inventor of eyeliner did not spend hours perfecting the wing and going to the grave for someone to end up drawing a knob hanging off their eye. I also did not spend a good £20 on a high street eyeliner to use its remains to draw a dick on my eye.
I’m sorry I’m being too aggressive. They are your eyes and don’t let anyone tell you what to do with them. Especially not me. If you want a penis hanging off your eye then you go for it man. Sure if it’s what makes you feel fabulous then that’s great. But guys, I honestly don’t see it ending up on the catwalk anytime soon. Sorry folks.