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The Wrestlemania 33 Card Predictions

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It’s almost that time again! Wrestlemania will soon be upon us an unlike last year it’s predictable and overcrowded. No matter I suppose, I can’t let that get me down. It might be okay, I can always have that hopeful thought in my mind, that the show might be passable. Well, no point in waddling around the subject, lets review the card thus far.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles

Shane McMahon (left) and AJ Styles (right) seen on an episode of Talking Smack.
Winner Prediction: AJ Styles

I’m working through this list from bottom to top, so it won’t be until the end of the article that we talk about the title matches. Remember at the start of the article how I mentioned the predictability of wrestling right now? Well, this is sort of what I meant by that.

Mainly because you can already tell AJ Styles will win. Of course, Shane and Styles will put on a great match, but overall they’re not going to let Shane win. He doesn’t need the momentum Styles does and the writing team behind the match certainly aren’t going to bury Styles. Much like last year, Shane will be able to put on a lengthy match with a great talent. But you need to keep in mind that Shane has no chance of winning, no matter how close the match is called.

John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse

John Cena (above) and The Miz (below) shown in a match on Monday Night Raw – 2010.
Predicted Winner: John Cena and Nikki Bella

A mixed tag match at Wrestlemania? That, actually does sound quite good. A match like this hasn’t happened in a very, very long time, especially not on the grandest stage of them all. No, I’m not counting that travesty of a six man tag that featured Snooki. That just isn’t a match at all.

In all honesty, nobody can lose any momentum or actually anything from this match. Currently, it seems like a pretty good feud and it can go either way, but my money is on John Cena. So long as nothing embarrassing happens then The Miz can leave with his head held high. Considering also that Nikki Bella is apparently retiring after the match, it would be nice to go out on a victory. It’s anyone’s game, as long as it’s a good back and forth match we have nothing to worry about.

Roman Reigns vs. The Undertaker

Roman Reigns (left) and The Undertaker (right) shown on a weekly episode of Monday Night Raw.
Predicted Winner: The Undertaker

If Roman Reigns wins this, I do genuinely believe people will riot. His career will be dead in the water before you can say “Daniel Bryan was better.” It’s a fact now that The Undertaker has been considering retirement for a long while now. I believe he’s been thinking about retirement since Wrestlemania 27, that’s just what I’ve heard though.

Anyways, regardless of that, this is quite possibly his final match. I really hope not, because then he’d be going out on such a dud of a match. I’m not saying they won’t put on a good show, but will it really have the same impact as a match with someone such as HBK or Edge would have? No, exactly. Stick him up against Dean Ambrose next year, then Seth Rollins and finally Baron Corbin. Let Corbin beat him, have Undertaker retire, there you go. Three more fulfilling matches for a legendary career.

Andre the Giant Battle Royale

The Big Show pictured after winning the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royale at Wrestlemania 33.
Predicted Winner: Sami Zayn

The Andre the Giant Battle Royal is basically an all star mix and match. Like a Royal Rumble but everyone starts in the ring. I really can’t give a prediction as to who will win this match considering the scale of it all. Currently the winners of this match have been Cesaro, The Big Show and Baron Corbin. The first two matches didn’t really amount to anything, but Corbin managed to get a huge push because of this.

Keeping this in mind, who should WWE push with a victory in the battle royal? Well, clearly you haven’t read above because I think it should be Sami Zayn. His career has sort of floundered around and he hasn’t had the push he needs and deserves.

Triple H vs. Seth Rollins

Seth Rollins (left) and Triple H (right) photographed shooting a promo on Monday Night Raw.
Predicted Winner: Seth Rollins

This match might not even go ahead as far as fans are aware. Seth Rollins’ knees are assembled with glue and paper and are apparently still on the mend. It all really depends on Rollins recovering in time for the match. Still, if all goes to plan then Rollins will recover and the two should hopefully put on a great match.

The key word there though is “if”. If Seth Rollins manages to recover in time then he and Triple H should put on a great match at Wrestlemania. Mind, if he can’t recover then I’m honestly not sure what they’ll do. The contract for the match has been signed, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen.

Cruiserweight Championship Match: Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries

Cruiserweight Champion Neville (left) and Austin Aries (right) photographed in the 205 Live ring.
Predicted Winner: Neville

The Cruiserweight division within WWE was lacking for the longest time, that was until Neville took his place as champion. It comes as no surprise then that I expect him to win. He’s managed to find his footing and a Wrestlemania victory will really help him keep that footing.

I’m not saying Aries shouldn’t win the title though, just Neville should have a victory at his first Wrestlemania. He’s definitely earned it for managing to salvage the entire 205 Live division. Also, a UK champion is a rare thing in the WWE, so it’d be nice for him to retain the gold at the biggest PPV of all time, just for the British sake.

Smackdown Women’s Championship Match: Alexa Bliss (c) vs. The Smackdown’s Women Roster

Mickie James (left) photographed with Women’s Champion Alexa Bliss (right) on an episode of Smackdown Live.
Predicted Winner: Mickie James

So this is going to be an interesting match. By interesting I mean it’s a cobbled together mess that just slaps everyone in one singular match. An already overflowing card is made even bigger by this, and I suppose it’ll work if done well.

Mickie James winning will be pretty good for the company. Think about it, she’s a legend of the business and needs to have a Wrestlemania moment. Still, any person going into the match has an even chance of winning, considering the plot for this feud was about as well put together as the Berlin wall.

Raw Tag Team Championship Match: Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. Sheamus and Cesaro

Sheamus, Cesaro and Karl Anderson all photographed in one of their many tag bouts on Monday Night Raw.
Predicted Winner: Enzo and Cass

This is my wildcard prediction if I’m honest. Out of the three teams available, they have yet to win it. It’d be a great start to their tag team reign if they won it on the grandest stage of them all. The tag division is lacking in my opinion. Enzo and Cass are the only team out of this trio really deserving of the win, so why not.

Interestingly enough, we’ve not seen the tag titles change at Wrestlemania for a very long time now. Well, on the main show anyway. It’d be good to see the tag belts change hands, but the match itself does seem gimmicky at best. A triple threat tag match? Not sure if it’s elimination or not either. A lot is left to be mentioned about this match, but it should be a good display of teamwork from everyone, which would be great to see.

Raw Women’s Championship Match: Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Bayley photographed in one of her bouts on NXT.
Predicted Winner: Bayley

It’s been a good run for this new generation of women’s wrestlers and so far things are looking up for this match. Bayley is a great champion and that’s why I think she should stay as that. The RAW championship has gone through three different champions over the course of a year and that is far too many.

My opinion? Keep it on Bayley until Summerslam, push some of the newer talent up and so on. Drop the belt to Nia Jax, then drop it to Sasha again. Then the main four women’s wrestlers of RAW have had a good lengthy run with the title, and it isn’t changing every week.

United States Championship Match: Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens

Chris Jericho (left) photographed with Kevin Owens (right) on a taping of Monday Night Raw.
Predicted Winner: Kevin Owens

This is the match I’m most looking forward to on the card. I couldn’t be excited for anything bigger or better. The two former best friends are having a title match. Not for the Universal Championship unfortunately, but at least we’ve got an enjoyable match on the card. Too bad the best match isn’t even the main event.

Anyways, regardless of that, this is arguably Jericho’s last match for the company right now. He said he wants to focus on his band once more, so he’ll be dropping the belt. Owens will win the belt from his former best friend, and then away we go with that. I honestly have no clue who will go after the US Title after that, there’s nobody I can see really going for it other than Jericho. It’ll be weird to see him gone after Wrestlemania.

Intercontinental Championship Match: Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose (c)

Baron Corbin (left) pictured in a match against Dean Ambrose (right) on Smackdown Live.
Predicted Winner: Baron Corbin

Okay I lied there is another match I am looking forward to. I can definitely see Baron Corbin becoming the new streak fuelled wrestler. He hasn’t lost a single match at the show of immortals as far as I’m aware. Winning the battle royal, and that’s it, that’s his only match.

If he can win a thirty man battle royal he can definitely beat Dean Ambrose for a midcard title. Saying that, I like them both, Corbin will be in his first singles match and I’m pretty sure the two will put on a good match. Regardless, Ambrose is about ready to drop the belt and I feel Corbin is ready for his first major title run.

WWE Championship Match: Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton

Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton photographed fighting on the outside of the ring on an episode of Smackdown Live.
Predicted Winner: Bray Wyatt

I really hope Wyatt wins. What every belt needs I’ve realised is a lengthy run. We wont get that with the next match we see, but we can only hope it happens with the main Smackdown Live title, right? Orton won the royal rumble, but then had to beat AJ Styles just so he could have the match anyways.

Orton being champion again would crush me. Bray Wyatt is a truly phenomenal champion right now and it would completely kill his momentum. He won the belt at Elimination Chamber and dropping it only a month later would genuinely be such a shame.

Universal Championship Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg (c)

Lesnar and Goldberg seen squaring off for their first bout at Wrestlemania.
Predicted Winner: Brock Lesnar

Oh. Okay. Yay. I suppose this’ll be good to see. Again. Just this time it wont have Stone Cold Steve Austin as the referee. But no matter I guess, we can go without some entertainment in this match.

Of course Lesnar will win. Goldberg will be long gone after this match and be in the Hall of Fame by next year. As for Lesnar, he’ll drop the belt to Roman Reigns and we’ll have seven long years of that fun. All jokes aside, it’ll be an okay match, but certainly shouldn’t be the main event. If they do the whole ninety second match again I don’t know what I’ll do.