postal

I do enjoy a good terrible film. Lets get that out of the way. I’m one of those weirdos who collects physical copies of games and DVDs. What I’ve noticed is that the majority of the films I own are comedy. But I don’t actually own any dreadful comedy films. Something I’ve seen and thought “People actually thought this was funny?”. Boy oh boy did that change.

After reviewing Postal 2 (which garnered a respectable 7/10.) I accidentally stumbled upon the movie by the same name. Postal. A quick google of the film will show you the film did dreadfully on iMDB (4.3/10 at time of writing.). But not only that, it was also directed and stars Uwe Boll.

For those who don’t know, Uwe Boll has basically never made a good film. He was responsible for the dreadful Alone in the Dark film, and then the even worse film Alone in the Dark Two. He likes to make video game movies apparently. But they’re not very good so who cares. No video game movies are good.

Anyways, I bought this on Amazon for the good ol’ price of £2.40 after I reviewed the game. It actually arrived quite recently too. Honestly I forgot I’d ordered it and was surprised to see a parcel waiting for me when arriving home. Anxiously opening the box I discovered that I had ordered a brand new copy of the movie. For £2.40 that’s considerably cheap for a brand new film, no matter how bad or good it is.

Once I’d taken a look at the box art it honestly took me a few days to watch the film. Not because it looked offensive, believe me, that doesn’t bother me. But it did bother me about how low budget and horrible the box looked. Also before I forget, the film got 8% on Rotten Tomatoes and is considered one of Uwe Boll’s better films. But why is this?

A quick note that popped into my head was the casting choices. Primarily Zack Ward and Dave Foley. They’re both really great in the film and both of them did make me laugh at points. So it’s not all doom and gloom, we’ve got these two to keep us going through the film.

Well, offensive material isn’t always the key to a funny film. This film uses offensive material non stop. That’d be fine if it was funny, but in this film it’s just sort of, there. The movie plays at such a speed that you’ll leap from one offensive segment to the next. From an out of the blue 9/11 joke to Verne Troyer being raped by monkeys.

Now you may be thinking the second one sounded vaguely funny because it would just never happen. Somehow the movie manages to make any potential it has into this big flaming ball of shit. There is a huge difference between funny and offensive.

But of course when the film is funny, it is actually quite good. However the only example I can think of is the cat silencer from midway through the film.

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Apparently that prop cost $50,000 to make. It’s featured in the film for a good few seconds. They really should’ve spent that money on a better plot or something.

But hey, other than that, the film was shit. The plot is unique, but of course is shit like the rest of the film. Just because the plot is something you’ll not see anywhere else doesn’t make it good. Basically to raise money they steal some action figures that have the bird flu virus in them and it ends with nukes going off.

Genuinely baffled after I had experienced the film, I put it back into the box and never spoke of it again. That was a few weeks ago now and I’ve only just managed to break my silence. I struggled to reclaim my thoughts after watching this film.

In the course of my career, I never honestly thought I would be offended. I was offended by Postal. Not because of the offensive material, I didn’t mind that one bit. Postal 2, the game, was brilliant. The movie, not so much.

Much like the film itself, I’m not sure how to end. So I may just end with a picture of the final scene in the film.

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But hold on a moment. Lets look at this a different way. More specifically, Uwe Boll’s cameo. It’s a short one where he sits in “Little Germany”, dressed as a Nazi, talking about how his movies are financed with “Nazi Gold”. Funnily enough, this was actually rumoured in reality to be true. Boll again nodding at his critics and the negativity in the public. I thought it was quite smart, especially for a Uwe Boll film.

On top of that, Postal does actually challenge what is acceptable with comedies. Like the poster for the film says:

Some comedies go too far…

this one starts there

It definitely crosses the line, but in a good way. There are countless scenes where I thought Boll was being bold by including the scene. Not only by mocking the Nazi’s so largely, but by also showing numerous things that society would deem horrific. Terrorist attacks, the shooting of children, how the media portrays these events to their advantage.

Above all, if we analyse further into Postal, we find more meaning. Now this meaning may be bollocks, but on the off chance it isn’t then we’ve discovered a hidden gem. Of course, it’s highly unlikely that a Uwe Boll film goes that deeply into the media, but we never know.

Maybe it’s some sort of amazing comedy that nobody understands, the pushing of the boundaries was the reason it was made. Showing all of the horrific themes people deem too vulgar highlights the problems with society.

Postal is bad. Not because of the acting. Surprisngly, it’s because it pushes too many boundaries at once. It spreads itself too thin. If it had focused on one specific topic then maybe it could’ve gotten away as a pretty decent cult film. Focus on the media being corrupt or violence against children. But not both in the same film, you get some mixed messages that way. It’s the films downfall.

But on a more positive note, JK Simmons is in this film. If you don’t know who he is, well, you’ve clearly not played Portal 2. Shame on you.

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